There are so many things about the mother-daughter relationship that are somewhat universal. Eye rolling, questions answered with “because I said so”, moments of short temper and shouting…these are the trials and tribulations of almost all mother daughter relationships. And yet, this is not what God intended. Instead, God’s Word tells us that mothers and daughters should be knowingly walking together in His ways.
Naturally, that is a lot harder than it sounds. If you think back to your teen years, you probably remember asking questions like, “If God is real and loves me…why did He allow this or that to happen?” Many teens reach a point when they begin to question their faith, and this is a crucial moment. It is one in which they must not walk alone.
Author and speaker Camille Cates reminded many in the audience of this at a recent Walking Together conference sponsored by Healing Hearts Ministries. In her presentation, she wittily spoke to the teenage girls in the audience when she asked them how often their mothers would answer a “why” question with a “scripture bomb”. Explaining it like this:
“Daughters, you’ll be doing something…and she throws out a Bible verse at you, like, ‘Yeah! God’s Word says blah, blah, blah…so stop doing that.’ And they walk on right? And it’s like, ‘Wow, Thanks, mom, for throwing a scripture bomb at me instead of, like, sitting down with me…”
In those few moments, she summed up the importance of the mother-daughter relationship. Explaining further that the two of you don’t have to be perfectly in sync or walking at the same pace. It is, instead, when your eyes are fixed on Christ that the two of you will be walking together.
However, it was another speaker who commented on her own struggles in her mother-daughter relationship that made the meaning of walking together even more significant. As a daughter of a broken family, she explained, she came to the realization that her sufferings were the result of her mom’s sinful choices, a woman who had taken her eyes off of Jesus. This young, but wise, speaker went on to say “My mom was a sinner. She still is a sinner. I’m a sinner. We’re all sinners here.”
Sin and Worldviews
Your daughters are a generation which is reaping the consequences of sin to a degree few other generations have experienced. The floods of influences from TV, the internet, movies and social media can make it remarkably challenging for them to stay on track and to keep their eyes on Jesus.
Reacting sinfully in anger, fear and perfection can add up to catastrophe, but when the mother-daughter relationship is guided by the Word of God, things will go much smoother.
One way to achieve this is through regular Bible study that helps a teen to understand all of those “scripture bombs” that mom may let fly from time to time. Aiming everyone’s gaze at Jesus, helping them to keep their eyes and hearts in the right place, study and prayer of this kind is key.
Support groups, mother-daughter retreats or conferences, and specialized study are also important. The book “First Love” is used in special Bible study groups sponsored by Healing Hearts, and in it, teens are given a unique opportunity to explore the importance of loving the Lord first in all areas of life.
Whether your daughter is just a newborn baby or grown and on her own, it is never too late to learn the Word of the Lord and begin walking together. Learn about the Healing Hearts Walking Together conferences here.