My name is Gina and I have never given testimony to the goodness of God all my life. I am choosing to obey and share what the Lord has done in my life, in this year. When I started this ’Hem of His Garment’ bible study, I was not anywhere convinced that He could save and rescue me because I have felt so dirty and ashamed. I didn’t know that coming in though. I thought I was justifiably angry and bitter. I couldn’t figure out why life has been so difficult. I blamed everyone around me. I literally hated everyone and had sunk so low that I couldn’t speak to people, even if I wanted or needed to. It was interfering with my job, friendships, and family. I was so confused as to why I couldn’t look anyone in the eyes and if you came across me, I was abrupt, selfish, jealous, unapproachable, and not a nice person. I have a tough exterior so that no one could see inside me. The anger was also all about me. I held on to it so that I could be obviously excused of the exact behaviors that I hated my parents for. This way I felt no fault. Through this study something amazing happened when I discovered just how much Jesus loves me, His sacrifice was BEYOND! I learned that He was always with me, through all of the abuse towards me AND all the abuse I caused. JESUS’ HEART WAS ALWAYS TURNED TOWARDS ME IN ALL MY FILTH WAITING FOR ME TO BELIEVE AND HE EVEN LEFT THE 99 TO FIND ME! OH WHAT FREEDOM AND JOY THIS HAS BROUGHT. I felt a great cleansing by this study, I feel like all prayers were answered as far as turning over every stone in my life that has been a stumbling block and had me in great bondage. Deep bondage feels demonic. A searched and cleansed heart feels holy. I learned how to fight the enemy and that the ONLY way to fight him is with the Word of God. I learned I didn’t wrestle and war with flesh and blood, but by the power and principalities of the air, so now instead of trying to fight my own battles, I am doing what I can in my power, then handing the rest over to Him. All this repentance and time in the Word has changed me. I desire friendships and I’ve made amends to my family for my imprisoning them with unforgiveness, I want to be in the Word because this is the ONLY WAY TO SUPERNATURALLY gain freedom. What I tried to do on my own my whole life, God did in a year with this study. I love the simplicity of my relationship with Jesus. He doesn’t demand anything from me but to love the Lord my God with all of my heart, and love others. I can just talk to Him and tell Him everything and sit with Him and receive His goodness, mercy and grace. I am no longer filled with loneliness because I know who loves me and will always be open to me, and nothing, absolutely nothing can take me away from Him.
