Going into this study, I figured it would be more of the same: Lots of bible-speak and not much depth or deeper truth to really cause any change in my life. I have never been one to say a study, or anything else for that matter, was life changing. I’m not given to theatrics or giddiness. If something does not move the Spirit in me, I will be truthful and say so. I have gone through many studies, just going through the motions and trying hard to glean new and exciting lessons from my study time. Mostly I’ve been left dry and searching, and frustrated that I spent yet another 10 weeks or so, filling my study time with blather and words. My expectation was blown with this study. I have been a Christian for a long time, yet have not experienced or understood forgiveness like I do now. I thought I understood, and definitely talked the talk, but once I was ’forced’ to look at truth, truth from a solid, unapologetic biblical standpoint, I have been humbled to my core. So many wasted years not fully immersed in humility that arises from a basic, soul shattering understanding of what Christ did for me: His atoning sacrifice, His bloodshed, His agony. All of it so I can be forgiven and stand at the right hand of God, not condemned. How dare I not forgive others, when they have not done even a quarter to me of what I have inflicted on Jesus? How dare I hold onto grudges and try to make others pay for their wrongs, when Christ never held onto any of my sins, but took them upon Himself and bore my shame, so that I could be free? What a paradigm shift in perspective! Even though I am well beyond newly married, I praise God that He has so perfectly laid out in His word, the roles of men and women and the standard that they are to attain to in a marriage relationship. Even though I may have known these truths in theory, I did not follow them, and have suffered many natural consequences of my sinful choices. God has used those choices in my life, and in the life of my husband, to sanctify and grow us and to draw us ever closer to Himself. I praise God for His mercies and for His perfect will. I have learned that God doesn’t punish us anymore as He did in the old testament, but He allows natural consequences of our choices to teach us, if we turn to Him in humility and allow Him to lovingly sanctify us through the consequences. I cannot grumble about what He is allowing, because what I deserve is death. But I can rejoice that what He allows is perfect for me, and keeps me in His fold and keeps me focused on Him. I have learned that I no longer want to control or manipulate my life to get what I want, but I strive to seek to glorify God with all of my choices. God has shown me what things in my life I have allowed to become idols and He is guiding me through the process of cutting down my asherah poles and tearing down the high places, so that He can reign supreme over all areas of my life. This sanctification process is the hardest, because I have practiced the sin of idolatry, self worship, for so long. God shows me daily how much time I have spent in the past focusing on things that are temporal and of this world, and have no meaning in eternity. He is so patient with me as I work through obliterating these idols and giving all to Him, focusing solely on glorifying Him and pleasing Him above all else. So, yes...this study has changed my life, because it has changed my heart. I can honestly say it has been one of, if not the, most eye opening, life changing, humbling, truth telling studies I have ever done. Thank you for this study. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! To Him be the glory forever and ever!
