As a mother and long-time Healing Hearts Certified Counselor since 1989, Madge Bloom has lived—and continues to live—through the heartache of watching her children turn away from God’s truth and into harmful and devastating life choices. Parents long to protect and save their children from the effects of sin, so how can a Christian parent or loved one find hope and strength in God’s Word to walk through what might seem like a helpless situation? I pray you’ll be encouraged by her testimony.
SHADE FOR OUR CHILDREN – by Madge Bloom
As a Christian mom, I sought to raise my two children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Hoping that my faithful living would provide ‘shade’ for them to grow in their own faith, both spiritually and morally, it was my prayer that one day they would ultimately experience salvation and abundant life found in Christ. I homeschooled for seven years and faithfully took them to church, where they both were very involved. Then, in their middle teen years, they both stopped attending church. Their fading away from the faith they had once proclaimed was disheartening, but drove me to my knees to pray for them all the more.
At age 19, my daughter ‘came out’ as a lesbian* and moved in with her girlfriend. The day she told us was April 4th―the 21st anniversary of my abortion with my then boyfriend, now husband. I felt crushed and smothered. I could barely breathe. How like Satan to throw another crushing blow on that very date, the day my first baby died. Now I felt as though I lost my second child on the same date. I could not sleep; I dressed, stumbled to my car, and drove to the beach at Alki. Sitting, staring at the cold Seattle rain drizzling down the windows, I felt like it was draining my very lifeblood and all the hopes and dreams I had for my daughter with each sliding drop. Each drop dripping onto the pavement, washing away thoughts, hopes, and dreams forever, or so it seemed at the time.
For days I walked back and forth to my bus in the parking lot at work and felt as though I were being ground into the very gravel beneath my feet. Slowly, as I sought the Lord’s comfort and His Word, I was able to breathe. I began the long, slow process of pondering what it all meant and how I, a Christian parent, was supposed to deal with the revelation of her sin.
Of course I knew my children were sinners, as am I, but THIS seemed so different! Homosexuality, like abortion, is a hot-button issue that Christians too often dance around; choosing either to be tolerant (live and let live, right?) or becoming militant and cruel in harsh judgment of those who sin in this manner.
The truth lies at neither end of this spectrum. Sin is not to be tolerated, but we are also not to be cruel judges of those who sin. For we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. Rather, we are to be loving and gentle towards others caught up in this or any sin, so that they might be granted God’s gift of “repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.” (2 Tim. 2:24-26). We all have been caught in the snare of the devil at one time or another; it is only the bait that changes. For one it is stealing, for another lying, or idolatry, or gluttony, or homosexuality, or abortion, or the love of money, or… (you fill in the blank.)
My daughter was caught in the snare of the devil, to do his will. What was I, her mom, to do? At first, I felt a deep shame over her sin and the feeling of having failed as a Christian mom. So I hid the sin of my daughter from those whom I called friends, not wanting to expose her, her shame, or mine. A few years ago, by God’s grace, He helped me overcome my fears and I began standing up and speaking the truth, sharing with close friends so that they might pray for and love her and me. As I shared, I found other mothers who were wounded by a wayward, prodigal child.
In the process of understanding it all, I came to realize this wasn’t something my daughter ‘did’ to me; it was only that she was exposed for who she was, a sinner in need of a Savior. I knew that she needed her heart pierced by God so that Christ could change her life. I am not called to change her―I cannot. I am called to love her with all my mother’s heart and the heart of a believer. I am to reach out to her, as one beggar telling another where to find food. So I continue to pray (for both of my children), to love them deeply, and to hope for them, because there is always hope―the hope we have as an anchor of our souls, in our God who cannot lie.
I wish I could end this letter with the good news that both of my children have repented and turned back to the Lord, who waits for each of them with open arms, to place upon their heads the crown of life and the robe of righteousness. But alas, I cannot. I continue to love my children and pray for them, sharing the good news of the gospel with them for their redemption in Jesus Christ. If you find yourself in a similar situation, with children caught in the snare of the devil by some cleverly disguised bait that looks good but in the end is death, I want to encourage you to take hope in the Lord. Shed your shame and reach out to your close believing friends for love, for support, and for their prayers, as they help carry your burdens. I encourage you to keeping sharing the gospel with your children, for it is life.
In my bible, I have my children’s pictures next to Jeremiah 31:16 and 17:
“Thus says the LORD: ‘Keep your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears, for there is a reward for your work, declares the LORD, and they shall come back from the land of the enemy.There is hope for your future, declares the LORD, and your children shall come back to their own country.’”
May God richly bless you, my beloved,
|Please consider sharing this letter with someone in need of this message of hope. As always, thank you for your faithful donations which enable Healing Hearts Ministries to continue training up and supporting gospel-centered, grace-driven counselors, like Madge, in the vital work of ‘binding up the brokenhearted.|
—Sue Liljenberg, President/International Director