January 2019 Prayer Letter
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Part of our 2019 series of leadership testimonies
Anniversaries are always a blessing to celebrate. Last year, Healing Hearts celebrated its 30th year of ministry! This year, I celebrate my personal anniversary of 20 years being a part of this ministry. When I reflect on all that God has done in my life through Healing Hearts, tears well up in my eyes and gratefulness to the Lord floods my heart.
In 1999, I was living in Kentucky and serving alongside my husband in full-time youth ministry. We had only been married for three years. My heart was an utter mess and it was severely impacting our marriage and our effectiveness in ministry. I was making my husband’s life miserable.
At the heart of it all was a deep desire to have a baby, and I was holding myself hostage from my husband until I got what I wanted. Ever since the day we said, “I do,” I was begging him to try to have a baby together. You see, I was living in fear and regret from the tragic losses in my past, including an abortion.
In High school, I had been sexually promiscuous and became pregnant during my junior year. While my parents had asked me if I wanted to have an abortion, I knew that abortion was wrong and I wanted to keep my baby. My parents supported my “choice.” I graduated from high school a year early and began attending college full time just after my daughter, Lauren, was born.
At that point, I felt like I could get my life back on track, and I got involved in church again. Things seemed alright. I was just living life, loving my daughter, and taking care of her the best I could with the help of my parents. Little did I know that the longing in my heart to have a young man love both me and my daughter would become an idol that would drive me straight into another bad relationship.
I met a young man who seemed to care for me and my daughter, even though I barely knew him. We became sexually active very quickly, and just as quickly I became pregnant…again. The two of us had discussed abortion, knowing that it was wrong. My biblical conviction seemed to waiver as I was more focused on my current circumstances than I was on Christ. So we did the next logical thing that entered our young, naïve minds – we got engaged. We never finalized a decision one way or another regarding the pregnancy because our relationship ended almost as quickly as it had begun – and in a way I could never have foreseen.
One evening, I had been working one of my part-time jobs while my fiancé was caring for my daughter. In the middle of my shift, my mom showed up and anxiously told me, “You have to come to the hospital right now! Something has happened to Lauren [my daughter].” For the sake of time, I will summarize what followed my mom’s disturbing announcement. [You can view Camille’s testimony at www.healinghearts.org/camille-testimony ] After we had been waiting through the evening at the hospital, and after many tests and examinations, the doctor finally broke the news to me. “Your daughter has extensive brain contusions from being shaken violently. I regret that I also have to inform you that she has been sexually assaulted.”
Anger swept over me as I yelled out, “I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!” until I was in a complete stupor, unable to handle or process all that had happened. Feeling like I was living in some horrible nightmare, I was ushered back to the waiting room.
Later, another doctor appeared to update me that due to the brain contusions and swelling, Lauren was brain dead with absolutely no hope of regaining any brain activity. She was gone. The man who was supposed to love me and my daughter had assaulted and murdered her and taken my sweet baby girl from me. My parents, who knew I was pregnant again, seized the opportunity to try to persuade me, “Camille, you have to have an abortion now.”
Before leaving the hospital I was able to hold Lauren in my arms one last time, as they turned off the machines that had been keeping her heart beating and her lungs breathing. I told her that I loved her and then the monitor flat lined.
My mind swirled over the next few days, while funeral arrangements were being made and an abortion loomed in my future. I tried to bargain with God regarding why my abortion had to be okay with Him. Four days after Laruen’s funeral, I walked into a desolate abortion clinic with my parents by my side and aborted my baby, a helpless victim, part of a horrific tragedy that was no fault of his own. My life spiraled downward after my abortion. I self-medicated with drugs, alcohol, and more sexual relationships until finally the Lord brought me to the end of myself.
I finally repented of the idolatrous relationships I had been chasing after, and God eventually brought a young man into my life whom I had grown up with in church. He had just graduated from seminary and was headed into youth ministry. With much hope, we were married and began our life together.
However, marrying a godly man, while helpful, did not heal my heart. I was dealing with the effects of the abortion as well as still suffering from the loss of my daughter. I pined for another baby while being terrified, as many post-abortive men and women are, that God would not let me have another child as punishment for my abortion. I didn’t understand that I was trying to fill a place in my heart that only Jesus could fill.
That year, in 1999, I happened to attend a women’s conference with a group of ladies from my church in Lexington, Kentucky. At that conference, Healing Hearts had an exhibitor’s table. Fortunately for me, no one was at the table when I walked by, quickly grabbed some literature, and ducked into the ladies’ restroom so I could read it in private. I was fearful that someone from church would see me and wonder why I was getting literature about a post-abortion ministry.
My heart soared with hope as I read these words, “This ministry is led by post-abortive women for post-abortive women. We understand because we have been there.” For the first time, I felt like I could turn to someone for help. I knew this Bible study was what the Lord had for me. Going through Binding Up the Brokenhearted not only helped me heal from my abortion using biblical truth, it helped me to draw near to the Lord through His Word in every area of my life. It also gave me an incredible hunger to study God’s Word and know Him more intimately. My life was radically changed when I completed the study. So much so, that my husband stated, “You are a completely different woman.”
This year, Lord willing, I will celebrate yet another anniversary – 24 years of marriage! I’m convinced that only by God’s healing and sustaining grace have we been able to overcome the challenges of my broken past, build a marriage in Christ, and raise the family that He eventually gave to us.
I am thankful the Lord healed my heart and changed the course of my life! And I’m thankful for Healing Hearts and its commitment to reaching lost and hurting individuals like me. In 20 years of serving with this ministry, I have witnessed the power of God through His Word in countless lives, bringing glory to Him.
One way Healing Hearts is still effectively reaching more men, women, and youth is through exhibiting at conferences and events. Much fruit has come from connecting with others face-to-face through exhibiting. Healing Hearts needs approximately $10,000 each year to exhibit at numerous events held all over the US. With your help, we could attend more conferences and reach more churches and individuals who desperately need hope and healing in Jesus Christ. Would you please prayerfully consider giving to this ministry so that we can do just that?
I am thankful for this ministry and grateful to those who have faithfully supported it over the years so that people like me could be healed and faithfully serving the Lord.
Ways you can help
- Provide on-going financial support.
Please use the donation link at the bottom of this newsletter to give monthly.
- Invite Healing Hearts Ministries to share at your next women's retreat or luncheon.
For more information Contact Sue Liljenberg.
- Spread hope and healing!
Share our web address with others who want to receive our monthly Prayer newsletter www.healinghearts.org.
- Do you like to walk?
Would you like to participate in one of our walk-a-thons that we will be having nationwide in 2008? Visit our Walk for the Wounded Heart page at www.healinghearts.org for more information.
- Do you belong to United Way? Or does your company offer Matched Giving?
Microsoft employee - Your company may match your donation dollar for dollar. Make sure you send us your matched giving form. Boeing employees can designate Healing Hearts Ministries to receive money from Emp. Comm. Fund #10440 United Way... Healing Hearts Ministries can be designated for your United Way giving. Make sure you designate your giving to us by using our full name which is "Healing Hearts Ministries." Many companies have a matched giving program. Check to see if yours does.
To Make a Donation
You may use the donation form on our website to make a donation,
or you may also submit your check to the address provided below.
Healing Hearts Ministries is a federally registered non-profit corporation, all contributions are tax deductible. One hundred percent of all contributions made to Healing Hearts go directly toward supporting the various aspects of our ministry no "administrative fee" is collected by a fund-raising service. All donations and expenditures are internally and independently monitored and audited. Annual financial statements are available upon request.
We thank you for considering contributing to our ministry. Your contribution will enable us to reach out and touch individuals who need the hope and healing message that only Jesus has to offer.
To donate online click this link:
Send checks to:
Healing Hearts Ministries
PO Box 7890 Bonney Lake, WA 98390-0966
phone (360) 897-0022