I gave my life to Jesus Christ about 4 years ago, however I was still struggling with walking in my Christianity. I did not understand why. This study revealed that my heart remained encased in the pain of an abortion that I had yet to fully release to God, by acknowledging that it was a sin and I needed to repent and ask for His forgiveness. It did not matter that I was only 15 years old and was not given a choice. I repented and received His forgiveness. I was so broken in my spirit, and as I was sobbing from the realization of what I had done against God, I instantly came face to face with a living and active grace that lifted me from all the despair I had been feeling. I was then able to allow God to show me how wounded I really was. The picture started coming together, and through each lesson God revealed that my heart was riddled with unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, and pride. Further, I had a mistrust of people in authority, willful rebellion, and not knowing what Godly love meant. He then gently reminded me that He had already delivered me from a suicidal spirit when I gave my life to Him, and it was a direct result of the abortion. As the study progressed and I began to embrace spiritually what Jesus did for me on the cross, immediately my world was turned upside down, in a monumental way that can only be viewed as supernatural. I understood for the first time the addictions (which I have been delivered from), the mental health issues (I have been delivered from) and the inability to maintain healthy relationships of any kind. I had resentments I held against my family, and anyone who would try and tell me how to live my life. What I was most influenced by during my time in this study was getting to know what Jesus Christ did for me. The things He suffered because of His love for me and the price He was willing to pay and paid. My life has been forever changed, even as I write this, I smile and I can feel Gods’ peace, and His presence. I have received the healing that I had been crying out to God for; ’’Lord, please empty me of me’’. Those bitter fruits have been repented of and forgiven, and replaced with an understanding that I am an ’’Oak of Righteousness’’, that can only come from knowing and trusting that God can and will do what you need Him to do in your life. All you have to do is surrender everything to Him. I had to come to the end of myself, and I believe God knew this and waited. I am so grateful for this study and the wonderful counselor, Andrea, who encouraged me while walking with me as I faced the sin and pain of my abortion and it’s consequences that held me in bondage for over 30 years. Thank you Healing Hearts Ministries for binding up this brokenhearted woman of God through this amazing study. I pray that more women find this ministry in their desire to be free of the guilt and shame the enemy wants us to wallow in...but for God I Know that I have been set free and so can others. ’’For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’’ Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
