Brought to the end of myself

I've known for many, many years that God used that abortion to bring me to the end of myself, reducing my carnal mind and lifestyle to ashes and rubble and using this shocking event to bring me to my senses, as He drew me to Himself.

And although I have been a Christian and Bible Study teacher for several decades, I have been frequently frustrated and baffled by certain behavioral patterns that sometimes left me doubting my own salvation, as I believe a true believer will manifest the fruits of the Spirit. Instead, I was too often manifesting the fruits of a root of bitterness.

This study brought to my attention the extent to which I had been covering the sin of harboring an unforgiving spirit. I was quite shocked by the enormous number of specifics which the Holy Spirit brought to my attention when I listed the people who had ever offended me, because I had truly thought I had forgiven them. The problem was, I had declared a blanket forgiveness, rather than dealing with the specifics. And this unforgiving spirit was the bitter root that kept me enslaved to patterns of anger, which had actually been one of the primary reasons for the behavior which culminated in my having had an abortion in the first place.

The truth sets us free, and I believe this study has accomplished a mighty work in exposing the truth to me, so I can enjoy a right relationship with my Lord and walk in His light.

This passage sums it up: "Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed. Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled." (Hebrews 12:12-15 NASB)