Sometimes grief is delayed

Twenty three years ago after several days of praying and crying, I chose to have an abortion. Only a handful of people knew I was pregnant. None of which supported my decision to keep my baby. Instead of trusting God, I chose to listen to the world. My baby's father took me to the hospital and stayed with me until I was released a few hours later. He then took me back to my friend's home and left. I never saw him again.

I always said I would never have an abortion. I didn't believe in it. How did I get to the point of going against everything I had been taught and believed in? I did not have a relationship with Christ at the time and thought I could just ask God to forgive me and I could go on with my life.

A few years later I was married and went on to have two children. I thought all was well until my daughter's friend, age 17 and unmarried, became pregnant and chose to give her baby up for adoption.I started thinking of the baby I aborted and for the first time felt the shame and sadness that I had tried to ignore from 23 years ago. How I wish I would have chosen life for my baby.

I began to grieve and had such overwelming feelings of guilt and shame. I was so thankful to find this Bible study! It has completely changed my life! Each chapter that was studied, seemed to melt away all the horrible feelings of shame. Studying God's word has shown me that there were other areas of my life that I needed help with also.

Without this study, I don't know where I would be today. Thank you Healing Hearts and also my counselor Carrie who was with me every step of the way! I will never forget you!