This has been a long and sometimes difficult journey. I learned a few things but the most powerful thing I learned was that I did not need to forgive myself. Self-forgiveness is not biblical. I am so grateful for this. I can forgive everyone else and wish them well. I can accept God's forgiveness that I do not deserve. I am beyond words sorry for what I have done and I live with the emptiness and regret every day and pray for everyone I have hurt and I rightly suffer for what I've done. I love the child I never had and miss this child so much. I try to go forward as best I can - I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. Thank you for your help.
