An answer to my prayers... I grew up in a home where my dad committed adultery for years and my mother loved him so much she couldn't see past it. She was so devoted to him that sometimes we, the children, felt like there was nothing left for us. Things were always tense and rocky. I was saved at an early age of 13 and I tried so hard to look past these things, but it was difficult to do. I then left home and got married when I was only 18. I thought that I had finally found happiness, but I was wrong. He was physically/verbally abusive. After a couple of years, I left my husband. Even with the abuse, it was a very hard thing to do. After my divorce, I strayed away from church and from God. A few years later, I found a man that I thought could fill my void. Several months into the "relationship" I became pregnant. At this point, my life became a whirlwind. I knew, because of several reasons, that bringing a baby into the world probably wasn't the best idea. I wanted him/her so bad, though. The daddy of the baby, on the other hand, was insistent that I have an abortion. So, I was young and he was several years older than me, I went along with his wishes. I will never forget the day...July 28, 2003. I was 24 years old, but I felt like a frightened, young teenager. The first room was so dark. There, they did an ultrasound and I remember thinking that there was a baby inside of me, but I felt like it was too late at this point to change my mind. The next room was so cold and so dreary. I can only remember the nurse coming over to me saying, "Don't worry. You won't remember any of this" and the doctor sitting in front of me. The doctor didn't discuss any of the procedure with me. I can not remember any other details about the abortion. Actually, I can only remember a few details for several days after. My mind had suppressed all these thoughts/emotions...a short time later, the daddy of my baby and I said our good-byes and departed ways. Then, a while later my life changed again. This time it was for the better. A wonderful Christian man came into my life...he was an answer to so many prayers. I started going back to church and rededicated my life to God. It was only about 4-5 months ago (about 4 1/2 years after my abortion) when God started dealing with me concerning my abortion. Sure, there were times that I thought about my baby...mostly the date of abortion and the due date. But this time, it was different. I couldn't get it off of my mind. God told me it was time to face it, deal with it, and move on with my life. He told me He would be with me every step of the way...and He has been. I prayed about it for quite some time and that is when I found Healing Heart Ministries. I knew this was an answer to my prayers. This was one of God's ways of helping me cope and deal with everything. I feel like one of my heaviest burdens that I have ever carried has been lifted...thanks so much to God, to Healing Heart Ministries, and to my wonderful counselor, Tina, who has helped me every step of the way. I can never say "thank you" enough!
