From nightmare to beautiful journey

Before doing this study, I was having nightmares about murdering someone. It would be the same scenario: I would have a recognition that I killed someone in my past and that I would have to pay for it. Often, I would have a sense that I buried this person. These dreams would horrify me because I am a nonviolent person. I finally told my husband.

After a year of these dreams, I asked God what they meant. I then had a dream that I saw a very young little girl lying in a fetus position, buried in the ground. The Lord showed me it was the abortion that I had twenty years ago! Shocked, I realized that I did indeed murder my own child! Not by society's standards, but by God's Holy standards: His Living Word.

By God's help, I found this website. This has led to the most amazing healing journey in my life. Not only did I receive complete and total healing for this sin, but God showed me so many other areas of my life that needed His healing touch. He mercifully showed me how incidents and traumas in my life had given the enemy strongholds in my heart that led up to the abortion.

The Lord showed me His heart and I was able to grieve with God over my baby. I no longer saw this unborn child as the white tissue I saw being sucked up in a clear plastic tube. I see this baby now as mine, as a little girl waiting for me in heaven.

One morning, while reading scripture after doing this study, a name popped to my mind, "Sheila". I knew this was to be her name. I looked up the meaning of this name and the first meaning I found was "heaven".

I finally realized that this is a precious baby, a gift from God, just as precious and just as beautiful as my other children. After my broken heart came the joy of a heart healed. God is the Healer and His grace is sufficient! This has been a life-changing, beautiful journey that I highly recommend to anyone that has the sin of abortion in their past.