After Anger, Depression and Frustration... Joy

I was one of the walking wounded who carried a void in my soul from the loss I’ve experienced through abortion. Though I thought I had reconciled the matter before God and myself, I still carried a goodly bit of anger, depression and frustration. Obviously something wasn’t right. Much heartache and depression is a result of denial. By failing to consider my wrong thinking that led up to my decision, I failed to connect the dots from the trauma that I was experiencing. Along with the denial, I lacked the necessary understanding and healing to be a whole person.

Through a word search I came across the Healing Hearts Web site. I was impressed they had a post abortion trauma study course specifically for men. As I worked through the Restoring a Father's Heart study, I was able to uncover elements of my past abortion experience that were left unaddressed. The individual lessons are really thorough as they address the attitudes and actions that lead up to an abortion decision.

Looking at the motivation for choices I made was not an easy task. I was caused to look at myself in light of the authority of a just and merciful God. Understanding that God desires recognition of the wrong has been a humbling experience. He is our moral authority, and desires His truth in the inward parts. I believe those seeking to recover from their Post Abortion Trauma will come to understand that.

Setting myself up for an attitude of reconciliation through repentance has been one of moving forward and accepting His forgiveness. Though I can’t escape the sad feelings from the loss, I have some understanding as to why I did what I did. Joy comes from knowing that I am forgiven. My wife has commented that it has had a positive effect upon me. She has likened the Restoring a Father's Heart study as to being not unlike "an altar to bring sacrifice."

The isolation that men experience with Post Abortion Trauma is very debilitating. As our popular culture won’t recognize Post Abortion Trauma in general for women, it is specifically less conscious of the same for men. I have found that the Restoring a Father's Heart process has provided a means of inclusion. By working with your ecounselor through each lesson, you are provided a safe environment in which to initiate a necessary element of recovery - that of healing.