A Story of Hope

My wife is a leader in the Healing Hearts program at our church. I have heard how it has blessed the lives of so many women who have participated in the women’s studies and how blessed she has been. I have never failed to encourage her in this ministry and delighted in her experiences. However, I’m a guy. I was raised to stuff my feelings and to ’’Suck it Up Buttercup,’’ which seemed to serve me in good measure.

I am a believer and it isn’t that I have any issue with Biblical counseling or with other people sharing their struggles or expressing their feelings, just that it wasn’t for me. I have never had a friend besides my wife with whom I could ever feel free to be that vulnerable. It took years to reach that level of transparency with my wife!

Recently, God led me to consider doing the study, ’’The Good Fight.’’ I didn’t know why, still don’t for sure. . . However, for the first time ever I was forced to think deeply and respond truthfully about issues that had been stuffed for most of my life. Issues like unanswered longings, bitterness, and my own sinful heart couldn’t be ignored. I had to prayerfully bring to remembrance how negative experiences made me feel, about the person, about my own thoughts and responsibilities, and about God’s place in every aspect of my life.

There have been a few times in my life when I have experienced a deep catharsis, sobbing and laying myself open to God. Remembering those times and recognizing how God has truly worked in my heart has been a deep blessing. Recognizing those areas where even I know there are miles to go before I sleep, is humbling. Especially when I consider that in my pride and ability to overlook my own failings, I haven’t scratched the surface. And yet, God is good and faithful and is in the process of completing my earthly sanctification even as I write these words. I am grateful for the ways in which He has used this study to open my eyes and my heart. My prayer is that He, through the impact of this study, will use me more fully in reaching and discipling others.